Many of us remember the feeling when we couldn’t sleep, eat, nor work if a certain person didn’t give us a “dosage” of his or her love in a form of a date, call or at least a message. I don’t want to concentrate on this feeling and remind you about how it felt. If you recognize yourself in the first sentence, you know what I am talking about.
The most important thing here is to know if there is anything you can actually do with this addiction because let’s call it for what it is – an addiction. Let me just add here that I am not a psychologist, and this is not a psychological approach but counter-intuitive one, something that have worked for me and my friends.
In your personal Human Design Life Chart (bodygraph) which you can create for free online there is this one little triangle in the bottom right side. It’s the Emotional center, the place for “sex, drugs and rock-n-roll,” as my teacher Chetan likes to say. This small area in the chart is partially responsible for Human Design download. All the human addictions, violence, race discrimination – whatever drives us crazy and apart.
According to Human Design, humanity is divided equally: 50 % are the carriers of those emotions (positive and negative), and the rest 50 % increases all the emotions of the first group. As we see with this equation, none of us is insured from addictions – nor the carriers, neither the conditioned ones.
Look at your Life Chart now in order to figure out which group you are in. What’s next?
First of all, it’s important to take responsibility for what you are because Human Design is about that, among other things. To take responsibility doesn’t mean “feel guilty”, it just means that you understand and accept that the emotions you are feeling right now, no matter which group you are in, are yours to handle. If you are the carrier, they were yours from the beginning, if you are the “increaser,” it means you absorbed something you could’ve chosen not to, if you were aware of what is happening.
After taking the responsibility the second stage starts. It’s important to understand the nature of the addiction. If your Emotional center in Human Design is colored in, you have a tendency to get attached to the “high’s”, to the peak of your emotional wave. Once you’ve felt it, you’ll always have a tendency to aim for them more and more – that’s how the emotional center works.
Only awareness can save you from this. It means to notice when something like this starts happening. It means to be attuned to your emotions, and that, first of all, means that the question “what do I feel now” comes before each decision or interaction. It means to do any kind of breathing technique in order to turn the emotional wave into stillness. Then the “itch” might subside along with that.
If you have undefined emotions center in Human Design, which means your emotional center is not colored in, your emotional waves will be always unpredictable depending on who you are with at the moment. And here it’s important to catch that moment by the tail when someone else’s emotions (and it’s always someone else for you) start penetrating your aura. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to start avoiding interaction.
It just means that in your case you need to treat emotions as clothes which you wear, change, take off, wash off. It is not a part of you, it is a coming and going visitor. The simple awareness of this fact can help you to handle the emotional turmoil. Another help with dealing with emotions is water – showering from head to toe, swimming in the pool, lake, sea, ocean… Water washes off the conditioning best of all, and the “foreign” addiction is a part of that.
Each addiction has a reason, and the addiction to a person is no coincidence. when we are hooked upon someone, it feeds our emotion’s center which demands the “fast food.” Emotions are not love, these are swings which sway us from one side to the other – sometimes we feel wonderful, and other times – not so wonderful at all. Addiction for a person is just like that “burger,” that cake, those cheeps for the emotional center – you are nourishing your addiction with them. If you understand that you cannot help yourself, this small acceptance is a step towards the healing process. Ask for a help, turn to a psychologist, do practices on healing the inner child.
The addicted usually choose the partners who are emotionally unavailable since deep down inside they don’t feel they deserve healthy loving relationships. This way they desire and get stuck upon one person despite anything, even if it means that they are putting themselves in danger.
If you know anyone in your surroundings who is suffering from love addiction, be close to them. Maybe they are going to need your help soon. When the addicted comes out from such relationships, there will be withdrawal, for sure. It is possible to outlive it, of course but it is that critical time when the addicted cannot rely on its “willpower”, “I know I can do it,” “I’ll just answer him once, that’s it”, etc.
If it is your story, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If this is your story, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Only a strong one can admit in weakness. And may it all be resolved in the best possible way for you.